Blondie's Homepage

Walk a mile in my shoes, okay?

This is the homepage of Blondie. She writes articles about many different things. She wants to share them with her friends. These articles may appear in handicapped magazines in the future. She asks that you read all of the article through first before making any judgements, okay?

A True Story

It's really true about what they say. Watch what you wish for, because you MIGHT get it. This is a true story, I should know because it happened to me.

When I "officially met" Cheryle Holeman we were working at two jobs--she was working at one of the local greenhouses, and I was working at a sheltered workshop for the disabled as a consumer. Some of us were able to go there and do some preliminary work for them. From the first times I met her, I knew something was different about her. When I found out she was a believer, I knew that was why. (I vaguely remember seeing her in church, but I didm't know her then.)

One day after we'd gone back from lunch, break or something, I remember thinking I wish I could get to know Cheryle on a more personal and private level. It was forgotten as soon as it had gone through the brain. At that time, she and I had what I thought of as a "work friendship" which meant, we knew each other just at the workplace, but didn't do any stuff outside of that.

Not long after that, she'd gotten a different job and as a result had to quit the greenhouse.

Now, fast forward from there to a few years later. .. One day I was called into my boss' office. During the conversation she asked me if I remembered Cheryle, and would I do a copy project for her. Yes and yes. During that part of the conversation I remembered making the wish back then, and wondered if this was it--it was! Little did 1 know!! Now, if you've done any copying for any length of time straight--it can get kinda boring. Especially if it's during the summer, and there's no air conditioning, which was the case in both accounts. (But at one point I had a fan, and it helped a lot). Out of sheer boredom at one point I started reading some of what I was copying, although I didn't understand a lot of what I was reading. Cheryle would either call, or show up to pick up what was already copied, and sometimes leave more stuff. Sometimes she would stop by to see how it was going. After I started reading, I started asking questions.

Cheryle and daughter were patient in answering them. There were a few times when I was tempted to tell Cheryle to bring a bag lunch, sleeping bag and be prepared to stay, because I had more questions!

Not long after that I started going to the Bible studies at her house. I became more involved in other stuff and was being blessed far beyond anything I could ever hope for or could imagine!

In all the years I was in church, I don't remember being blessed OR fed like this with any regularity--ever. All the answers to questions make sense. I know studying the Jewish way is in many ways like coming home. I'm not saying it's all going to be easy, but the peace is there.

Chains

I remember a time in my life when I felt in bondage. Here's what I saw in the mind's eye:

I was setting on a wooden stool. On both ankles I had ankle irons (like in those prison movies, except without the ball and chain in back). On the inside of each ankle chain, there was a chain that went to and connected to tall thin bar (like a prison cell bar), that went from the floor and stood between the knees. I had handcuffs on, too. (Like the ones the police use?) From the middle of the cuff chain, there was another one that was connected to the same bar as the ankle chains were. On the neck, there was another ankle iron that had a chain in back that was connected to the wall behind me. I felt I was in a dark room, but later I felt someone had taped the eyes and mouth shut, and had put earplugs or cotton in both ears.

The Lord G-d Himself in all of His wisdom, power, and everything that He is, is the only person I know that can truly free us. In Matthew 11:28-30 it talks about how we can go to Him with our chains, straight jackets (and everything of bondage) and He'll give us rest. We can learn from Him, because His yoke is easy, and His stuff is light. We can give it to Him and know that He will take care of it for us.

I've been free ftom those chains for a while, and its been a freedom I can't begin to explain. This is something each person has to experience for themselves before they can truly understand.

One thing I've come to know and understand, is that walls, straight jackets, chains or any other kind of bondage isn't always the physical kind.

Father G-d,

I come to You today to lift up those people who are in bondage. I know You are the only person that can truly set someone free--completely. I know that YOU have set me free and You can set others free too, because You look at the heart. I ask You to free people from their bondage because it's not of YOU. Free them, LORD, so they can experience the freedom You've given me. In Jesus/Yeshua's name, Amen.

I've found myself having to change an idea or belief, I'm sure there will be more of that in the future, and that's ok, but I know that's what it takes in learning and growing in Messiah Yeshua.

First

I remember my first Friday night Shabbat Service. I'd been invited to some friend's house, and since it was the first time, I didn't quite know what to expect.

One of the things that I remember was how it changed me around. Iwas seeing Jesus as Yeshua at every turn! And at the same time, I was having some questions answered. I remember feeling a sense of real relief, and I knew then that this was what I wanted, needed, and was looking for ever since I could remember!

I remember the music and prayers sounded foreign to me. The music especially. you knw how sometimes, when you hear music from a different country for the first time? It had a strange sound. ...like that....

The last thing I remember were the prayers at the end of the service. They read tehm w-a-y too fast for me! I'll be the first person to admit that I'm a s-l-o-w reader out loud, but I keep up when I read silently. It was so special!

Equality

On that sheet of paper where it says, "Everyone is created just like every other person? N-0-T! In my corner of the world, I don't see that happening very often.

What I'm seeing are people who are being denied jobs (they may be qualified for), housing, transportation, and accessibility because of a disability. I'm seeing people having to wear a "label" because they use different ways of doing stuff, and ways of getting around. I see people who will ALWAYS look down their nose or judge someone who has a disability, no matter what. I'm seeing....

Someone I know once told me, having a disability is only a small part of who I am as a person. She's right. I wish those people who are non-disabled could know that, then maybe ... just maybe ... we could be treated with the same amount of respect as everyone else? IF we could do that, then there would be equality everyone deserves, and it wouldn't be for some persons and not just for others. What a concept!

AMAZED

Before you read this story, I feel I have to explain something first.

I attended a meeting with some friends around the first part of the year. One of the videos they ran was called "Willow Brook: The Last Disgrace 25 Years Later" from the Geraldo Rivera Show that was aired on Januaey 6, of 1997. That's where I got the idea, and why I wrote the first paragraph:

I've been abandoned, mercilessly slaughtered by people who didrft have a clue or care. I've had to live with insensitive labels, lived in places where I was treated the way you wouldn't think about treating your puppy. I've been judged, looked down on, not given a chance or thought, betrayed, laughed at, or even looked in the eye. I've been pitied, mistreated, abused, not respected, called names, stared at --- should I go on?

I've heard of parents abandoning--or starving their children before. I suppose that is more out of being fearful, ignorant, stupid, and just not understanding.

This last New Year's Eve, a friend and I were talking about what we'd done over the Christmas holiday. As I was running down the list, I mentioned listening to the soundtrack of " Schindler's List." What a lot of people either don't know, or remember, is that the slaughter of the Holocaust didn't start with the Jewish people ... it started with those people who had a disability, and those other people who thought they "fed" the system.

Its always amazed me at how differently people can see each other, especially those of us who have a disability. So, is this anything like having two people read the same newspaper story, and coming away with having two different angles about the same thing?

SQUARE ONE

There's an issue I've not heard talked about in the disability movement very much. All the talk about transportation, housing, jobs, and education is great, don't get me wrong. But in one way and area, I personally believe we're STILL at square one.

I've noticed people have a real tendency sometimes to look at the disability rather than for the real person. (Hey, don't feel bad ... those of us who have a disability do the same thing!) If we could learn to put down the "labels", walk away from them, and concentrate on the person, we'd be in a better position to help in a concrete, positive, long and short term way. Listening is the most important part--not just with the physical ear --- but with the heart as well. To know what that person wants and needs (and not what someone else wants for them) is the thing here. Then ...and only then ... can we make a real difference. But how do we truly put down the labels?

IF we have to have the labels, why not have a more generic or general term than what we have now? Forget about being "NM," Physically or mentally challenged," "Downs," "M," "Consumer," "Customer," "Client," and all the rest! (Being thought of as a consumer or customer makes me feel like I should be going out and buy a loaf of bread or something. I'm sorry!) Why can't we just be thought of as ordinary, normal, regular people?

As someone who's "disabled" I don't want to be thought of (or treated like) I'm special, stupid, a freak, different, the village idiot,... like I am an alien from outer space somewhere, a second class citizen ... like I'm invisible, or just by the disability. I want to be treated just like everyone else, with the same amount of respect and consideration you would give to anyone else --- no matter what! Get to know the person I am on the inside and not by the disability, and I bet you will find I'm not that much different from you! Shalom!

Questioning...

When I was growing up, I heard people say that you weren't supposed to question G-d. Now, what kinda logic is that, because in Scriptures James/Yaakov 1:5 it talks about if someone wants to know something, it's ok to ask.

There have been a couple of times when I've questioned G-d about why I have a disability. I know in His Time and when He thinks I'm ready, He'll tell me. If it's not for me to know, that's okay, too. But until then? I trust Him to do what He thinks is the right thing.

I know that G-d is someone who doesn't do anything without a reason behind the action. Everything He does is for a reason. I mean, He doesn't go on a Sunday afternoon drive just to be doing it.

I know He loves and is watching over me, no matter how bad I may mess up.

So, do you like my stuff? Drop me an email why don't you?